


Her

by waywardimpalawriter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Goodbyes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 09:58:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11079234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardimpalawriter/pseuds/waywardimpalawriter
Summary: For a moment, just a moment you thought the prefect life might be in your grasp.





	Her

Summary: For a moment, just a moment you thought the prefect life might be in your grasp.

Pairing: Dean x Reader, Dean x Lisa

Warnings: angst

Word count: 1,156 (with lyrics)

Setting: The year Dean spends with Lisa so between season 5 and 6

Notes: #SPN Anti-Valentine’s Challenge by @thing-you-do-with-that-thing I chose Miranda Lambert’s song More like her.

 

_She's beautiful in her simple little way She don't have too much to say when she gets mad She understands, she don't let go of anything Even when the pain gets really bad I guess I should've been more like that_

**Reader POV**

I should’ve held onto my pride, should’ve walked away just like he is with my head held high. But I guess stupidity runs in my veins. Stupidly thinking he’d want to settle down with me, have that white picket fence, Apple pie life we only dreamed about. He hadn’t promised forever, never knowing my true feelings, never figuring out how I felt about him, nor returning them. Ones I pushed aside to keep from getting hurt, and in the end they’re what done me in. Not watching Sam fall, Lucifer contained inside his body, into the cage, sealed away for the good of mankind. It’s not seeing Castiel’s vessel explode or Bobby’s neck snapped, both returned to normal thank God that has me wanting to curl into the fetal position and cry.

No it’s the look on Dean’s face when we pulled up to the curb, relief mixed with pain and sadness. He’s not looking at me of course but at her house. A place he’ll be calling home from now on, with a woman that should’ve been me. If I’d gotten the courage to speak my heart.

“You wanna come up?” deep voice a touch rough with unshed emotions, his eyes never leaving the front door.

_You had it all for a pretty little while And somehow you made me smile when I was sad You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart And then you realized you wanted what you had I guess I should've been more like that_

For a moment shock took hold of me, questions of why he’s asking, of is he serious doesn’t he know? In the end shaking my head, just to stare out the front windshield, “Go on Dean, Lisa’s waiting for you right?”

“Where will you go?” from the corner of my eye, catching those strong hands resting on the steering wheel, but I don’t look over, not fully. If I did there’s no telling what’ll happen and I couldn’t risk that.

Instead I shrug, “Doesn’t matter, anywhere,” the cadence in my voice not sounding like my own, but that of a stranger as I lie to Dean for the first time since knowing him.

“I can give you a ride to the nearest bus stop.”

Shaking my head, hand going to the handle of Baby’s door, “Don’t bother Dean, I’ve always taken care of myself, not gonna stop now.”

Feeling warmth rest on my shoulder, cursing my weak will to stay aloof and show no emotion when it comes to this man. “You’ve got Bobby and Cas,” softly though I think I miss heard him adding, “me.”

Opening the door, one foot already on the curb, while shrugging his warm callused palm off my shoulder, “Better alone than put through the ringer.”

“Don’t be stubborn Y/N at least head back to Bobby’s,” there’s anger in his tone and I know it’s directed at me, but I could careless right now.

Stepping out, giving the Impala a fond rub down the side of her sleek black side, so many memories both good and bad ones held within the metal, leather and rubber. “I’m not, I’m being realistic Dean. You’re getting out, an apple pie life, go live. Don’t worry or think about me, I’ll be fine.”

Pushing away, opening the back door of Baby to pull my duffle bag out, chancing a foolish glance at Dean, who’s watching every move I make. Why I’ll never know, never ask, before closing the door, turning on my heel and starting down the suburban street away from the one man I’ve loved longer than I can remember. She’ll have him now and he’ll forget all about me, about the life we shared even if it’d been as friends.

_I should have held on to my pride I should have never let you lie I guess you got what you deserved I guess I should've been more like her_

I don’t hear the footsteps that follow, till an arm pulls me back, making me turn and gripping my shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

Puzzled, knowing Dean Winchester never apologizes for anything in his life, “For what?” I’m trying to act as if his touch, the very present of him being so close doesn’t have an effect on me.

“Leave.”

“It’s your choice Dean I’m not going to tell you what or how to live it,” motioning with my head back towards the house needing him to let me go. “Go, I have a bus to catch and evil to put in their graves.”

“Come by anytime,” he offers pulling my unwilling body in for a tight hug that I don’t return.

Gathering my voice, “Yeah, sure next time I pass through,” pulling away I don’t look back, don’t wave or add anything more, just walk away it’d better this way after all. I’d never see him again despise what I’d said I’d make sure never to pass through this town or anywhere near it again.

_Forgiving you, well, she's stronger than I am You don't look much like a man from where I'm at It's plain to see desperation showed it's truth You love her, and she loves you with all she has I guess I should've been more like that_

_I should have held on to my pride I should have never let you lie I guess you got what you deserved I guess I should've been more like her_

_She's beautiful in her simple little way_

**Dean’s POV**

Wanting to stop you, to gather you in my arms and never let go, yet that’s what I’m doing. The coward in me is letting the best thing in my life beside Sam, his name making me wince remembering he’s gone, Cas, and Bobby, I’m letting you walk away with no other words. I’d promised Sam to live a different life, but for the first time I wonder if it’s going to be with the wrong person.

I never told you what I felt all those nights we’d fall asleep together, how fighting alongside you every day kept me sane. How you’d become a deeper part of me, even more so than her.

While my heart screamed at me to follow you, explain and just run away together, my brain reasoned she would be a better choice, safer. Though would be mean happier? Would she be able to understand the nightmares, the need to check every lock twice, devil’s trap by each door, salt everywhere? I didn’t know, but as I watched you walk away, I knew one thing you’re taking my heart with you and I knew I’d never see you again regardless of what you promised.


End file.
